Asgard's Rules for Visitors
by isis uf
Summary: Darcy thinks Asgard is pretty kickass... even if some of its rules don't really make much sense


Asgard's Rules for Visitors

Rating - T (at the very most)

Pairing - Darcy/Loki

Author's Notes - This is the first of a trope bingo blackout challenge. This particular challenge was "pretending to be a couple/married." All of the challenges will be done for Avengers/Movie!Marvel, be at least 1k words and likely will be mostly het or gen with a variety of pairings. Enjoy!

Asgard is pretty badass. She's not gonna lie. There's something epic about the alien realm that Darcy just wouldn't have been able to envision without seeing it with her own eyes. And her initial reaction - "Holy crap, Jane! We aren't in Kansas anymore!" - hadn't been totally off the mark. The streets might not have been brick, but she wasn't sure they weren't gold.

Still… it's not all bifrost rainbows and interstellar butterflies. She'd been warned before coming that it had been many centuries since a Midgardian had made the journey to Asgard and that both she and Jane were bound to be a curiosity to its people. That part she was cool with. In theory. After all, she was wicked curious about them, too. But it wasn't like she was kicking back in a hostel like she had sophomore year of college while backpacking across Europe. No, she was a guest at the palace of the Realm Eternal and that was a whole different kettle of fish.

There were rules. Which… okay, made sense, but actually sort of surprised her given Thor's initial penchant for throwing mugs when he first came to Earth. Still, she could deal. But… some of them were a little weird. She wasn't to go unescorted around the castle (a bummer for sure because she totally wanted to have a Hermione moment and explore). But, more to her confusion, she also had to wear this necklace. It was awesome, no doubt, crazy intricate with emeralds and gold filigree and probably worth more than the GDP of a moderately-sized country. But why exactly did she have to wear it?

"It indicates you are under the protection of this house," Loki had told her. "You mustn't take it off while in public whilst we are here on Asgard."

She'd given the Avengers' favorite frenemy a quizzical look at that because… what?

"If I do is Odin gonna kick me out? Am I going to round the corner and have Sif and the Warriors Three charge me with swords drawn?"

Loki's mouth had quirked with veiled amusement at that.

"I feel certain that their reactions would be substantially less… murderous, but I will grant you that with Lady Sif it _is_ hard to tell, at times," he'd finally drawled.

"Jane doesn't have one," Darcy had pointed out. "A fancy piece of alien Cartier, I mean."

"Lady Jane is rather obviously under the protection of Thor, wouldn't you say?" He'd responded with a raised eyebrow.

He'd had a point, so she'd left it at that.

That had been a week ago. She'd put the necklace on and hadn't taken it off since. And… well, there were no two ways about it, people had treated her _weirdly_. Sure, she was an oddity, but so was Jane. Odin's eye hadn't widened in surprise at _Jane_. Frigga hadn't looked at _Jane_ with something like triumph. Sif didn't watch _Jane_ with undisguised suspicion. No, those honors were just for her. It didn't make sense. More than those things, though, it was Thor who confused her. Three times in the last two days, he'd walked up to her, opened his mouth as if to say something, furrowed his brow and walked away.

"You look troubled, my dear."

Darcy looks to her side at the table, just an empty chair between her and the alien/goddess/queen. Loki had been between them, but stepped away for a word with some visiting dignitary from Alfheim. An elf. An actual elf. With the ears and everything. Darcy had tried _so hard_ not to make a Lord of the Rings joke when introduced to him and - to her credit, she thought - she very nearly managed it. She doesn't blame Loki in the least for taking the elf somewhere else to talk, but it is sort of weird without him next to her. He's barely left her side all week, when she thinks about it.

"No, your majesty," Darcy smiles. "I was just thinking… with meals like these all of the time, it's going to be hard to go back to lean cuisine and hot pockets back home."

The queen, of course, has no idea what she's talking about, but she nods and smiles politely anyhow.

"You are, of course, quite welcome to partake of our feasts whenever you so desire, Lady Darcy," Frigga assures her. "You shall always be welcome at my table and I hope for you to be a familiar face at court."

And… hey! Cool! A standing invitation to the feasts of the gods is nothing to be scoffed at. And Darcy has very lax scoffing standards.

"Thank you… you've been so nice to me. I really do appreciate it," Darcy smiles.

And she _has_ totally appreciated it. For all that people have looked at her strangely or given her a wide berth, Queen Frigga has gone out of her way to make Darcy feel as welcome as possible.

Frigga takes the compliment graciously, with a thin smile and a small nod of her head, but there's something clever in the older woman's eyes and Darcy knows the conversation is not yet done.

"Have I mentioned how much the necklace suits you?" Frigga finally asks.

At least three separate conversations around them totally stop at once - including Odin and Thor's - and all eyes turn toward her and the queen.

"Er… no, but thank you. Loki gave it to me," Darcy tells her.

"Yes," Frigga says, smiling broadly with laughter in her eyes. "I _did_ gather that much. It does my heart good to see our customs adhered to, even by those not raised with them. And I am gladdened to see that my weavings yet hold true."

Um. What?

"It's an honor to wear it, your majesty," Darcy says instead because "_Um. What?_" seems like an inappropriate response to a queen.

Frigga's smile grows brilliantly and Darcy thinks the queen is possibly more obsessed with traditions than Great-Aunt Millie who actually wears those ugly Christmas sweaters and sends family Christmas newsletters (about her and her four cats) along with fruitcake to everyone every year even though she _knows_ they all just get thrown out.

Out of the corner of her eye, Darcy catches sight of Thor whispering something in Jane's ear and whatever it is he says has Jane's eyes bugging out and her jaw dropping a little before she looks at Darcy with that same _damn_ wary look everyone has been giving her all week.

"If you would excuse us, I'd like a private word with Darcy for a moment?" Jane asks rising.

"Of course, my dear," Frigga says as Odin gives a curt nod.

"But don't we need an escort?" Darcy protests as Jane drags her out into the hall.

"What?" Jane asks, pulling a face.

"We aren't supposed to wander the castle without an escort," Darcy says, reminding her.

Because _duh_, if Darcy can actually remember rules then Jane sure as hell should too.

"That's not even… Nevermind," Jane says shaking her head. "We'll get to that later. For now, we need to talk."

"What? Do I have something stuck between my teeth? Do I have the mother of all zits on my forehead and just not now it yet? Why is everyone giving me this look like I'm crazy?"

"Because you might be," Jane tells her.

Darcy pouts in response because a) not nice and b) not any more warranted than usual, thank you. She was exactly the same amount of crazy last week and no one was giving her the stink eye then. Okay, well, way fewer people were anyhow.

"You could have _told_ me, you know," Jane says, crossing her arms in front of her and looking a little hurt. "Being the last to find out really sucks."

"Jane… what the hell are you talking about?"

"The necklace," Jane says like it's obvious. "You could have told me you were dating Loki."

"I'm _WHAT?"_ Darcy shouts/squeaks.

"The necklace. It's a courting gift. You didn't _know_?" Jane asks.

"It's just a custom thing! To show I'm under the protection of the royal family!" She protests.

"_Yeah_, because you might be _joining it_," Jane counters.

This is when Darcy starts laughing hysterically because it's that or hyperventilate and she really doesn't want to pass out in the hall outside the banquet room.

"You really had no idea?" Jane asks in disbelief.

"Do I _look_ like I had an idea?" Darcy asks, still laughing.

"So you two aren't…" Jane starts.

"No!"

"Because, you know, there were rumors. Back home, I mean," she tells Darcy.

Darcy stops laughing at that.

"Say what now?"

"I think Clint started it. Or maybe Tony. Anyhow, you two have just hung out and teased each other so much since SHIELD had you give him a crash course on ethics in politics," Jane says.

"And you believed it?" Darcy asks.

"Well, I didn't because you hadn't said anything, but then he wanted you to come on this trip and-"

"I thought it was your idea for me to come!" Darcy interrupts.

Jane just looks back and shrugs one shoulder.

"Son of a bitch! Next thing you'll tell me we don't need to have an escort to wander around the castle," Darcy declares.

"Actually…" Jane begins sheepishly.

"Yeah. That'd be the last straw," Darcy announces. "Excuse me, I have a liar to see about some lies."

She brushes past Jane back into the hall and walks across the room at a steady clip. Loki's on the far end of the room, still talking with the elf, and he doesn't look in her direction until just before she reaches him. When she does, she grabs his arm and yanks, never breaking her stride as she drags him out of the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she spies Sif grinning widely at her. It's the first friendly look she's seen on the woman's face directed toward her and honestly it's at least as unsettling as the wary scowls.

"That was exceptionally uncivilized," Loki says, as soon as they're in the hall.

"Like broadcasting to your whole world that we're a couple without me having any idea?" Darcy counters.

He smirks that damned sly, self-satisfied half-grin in reply and half of her wants to smack him for it. The other half wants to do something else entirely because she's always been a sucker for cocky jackasses and apparently that isn't going to change anytime soon.

"I _am_ surprised it took this long for someone to inform you what the necklace meant, frankly," he says loftily, eyes settling on her neck. "Though, in fairness, I've not left you to your own devices much and no one was going to say something about it to you in front of me."

"Oh my God, that's why your mom likes me so much," Darcy realizes suddenly.

"You made a good impression all on your own," he assures her. "But it would be a lie to say she is apathetic about the idea of our attachment."

"Yes and we both know how much you hate lies," she scoffs. "What the hell made you think it was a good idea to give me the crazy alien god version of a varsity jacket and decided not to tell me what it meant?"

Obviously, the specifics of what she's just said are a little beyond him, but the gist of it is not.

"It did seem more interesting than asking you out for coffee," he replies.

It's about now that Darcy realizes a couple of things. First, she's still holding his wrist and she's kind of not wanting to let it go. Secondly, his detached arrogance isn't even close to the best lie he's told her. And lastly, she hasn't rushed to take off the necklace and _she doesn't want to_.

"I like coffee," she says.

"I know," he replies.

"I like interesting more," she continues.

"I know that, too," he responds, lifting his free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and letting his fingers skirt the line of the necklace.

"This could be disastrous," she says, shuddering as his fingers skim her neck.

"Perhaps," he admits, leaning in a bit. "Perhaps not. Do you know what it certainly will be?"

"What?" She asks, a little breathlessly.

"_Interesting_," he promises, his face inches from hers.

"Interesting," she grins as his lips close in on hers. "I like the sound of that."


End file.
